Why?

Why mum...just why.

I have tried very hard and studied for hours when you weren't at home.

I studied despite feeling very tired.

I studied.

And studied.

And studied.

Just because I want to make you happy.

You see - ever since I failed prelim math, I've been trying very hard to make up for that. You only got mad at me for my math.

You never congratulated me for getting A in my other subjects.

You reprimanded me during the night...when I was using the computer, not studying. You said that I am still fooling around when PSLE is around the corner.

But you never know what happens at home.

I study a lot at home.

And yes, I do take short breaks to watch TV.

But I still studied. I study for at least 4 hours a day.

When PSLE was here, I was really nervous about the papers. Just that not all of my nervous-ness were shown.

I sleep at 12 or later before every paper just to refresh my memory about what I need to remember for the exam.

Then the exams finished.

So when the PSLE results were out...I called you. No, I called Denise jie first. I told her my results. She said it was okay.

I told bro. He said it was okay.

I told my friends. They said it was okay and encouraged me to do better.

I told Vincent. He didn't say much, except ask me to work harder when I'm in sec 1.

When I called you, you said "why so low?"

I was just really...disappointed. Then you said you were not upset and said that I tried my best at least.

Ok, acceptable. I was that disappointed.

But when I'm back home, you said why so low? And even said that you expected 230. Then after that you said that you think that 230 is also quite low.

TAKE NOTE PPL WHO GET 230+ - MY MUM SAYS THE SCORE IS QUITE LOW.

then I asked why. I thought it was okay and able to get into a few reputable schools.

she said she got into Cedar Girl's.

She FORGOTTEN her aggregate.

yeah. and fancy asking me why I have low self esteem when you were the one who called me fat, stupid and problematic child when I was young.

yea, my self esteem is so much lowered that I don't think I can even survive Sec 1 next year and probably flunk and repeat the whole year again.

all thanks to your bliss.